The way to find your soulmate is to understand what really is a soulmate. Not a lot of people think about this, and they just expect someone to appear that fits right into the position.

While many people are running around trying to find “the one”, they lack to comprehend that finding your soulmate is not an effortless process. A soulmate is something more than just chemistry among two people, but what will really keep it going is having a true relationship with the person, overcoming the ups and downs and accepting that a soulmate is a person that fits into your expectations but also, that they themselves are persons with flaws and defects, just like everybody else. So here are several ways that will help you find yours.

Be your own person

Don’t try to be someone that you are not. In order for a person to truly get to know you, you have to be yourself with them, that means showing them your flaws and weaknesses. After all, that’s the same thing you are asking for the person that you are meeting, you want to get to know them entirely for who they are. So if you are true to yourself, they are most likely going to open up too and be themselves with you.

Avoid Judgements

No one is perfect, not even yourself. You have probably heard the phrase “don’t judge a book by its cover” and it something that you should really consider when looking for your soulmate. You can’t know the person right away by just looking at them, or by spending 5 minutes with them, getting to know a person requires months or years. So try to be more open when you are meeting people, don’t just judge them for their appearance, because if you do, you will never get to know a person deeply.

Don’t settle. Trust your gut

Your gut is almost always right. It is that inner part of yourself that truly knows you and knows what you want. Don’t just take decisions because they appear to be the right ones, hear your body out, and seek what you truly want. We often stop ourselves from doing more because we are scared to leave our comfort zone, but deep inside of us we are truly curious. Don’t live with regrets and follow your heart. As corny as it sounds, it is what everyone should be doing. If you think this guy might be the one, follow up, don’t just stay seated and waiting for things to happen, go for it. Or if you are maybe dating someone that you already know they aren’t ‘the one’ for you don’t settle, don’t be afraid to speak out and get what you want.

Learn to love yourself

Whether this might sound odd, it is very true; how can you expect someone else to love you if you don’t love yourself. Finding the right person starts with you. A person will see in you, how you feel about yourself, and this influences people’s decisions a lot. If you don’t take care of yourself, if you let other people step on you, people will pick up on this type of things. You want to learn how to love yourself first, in order for someone else to be able to love you.

Think long term

If you are dating someone, and you may think he is your soulmate, you need to ask each other crucial questions in order for this person to suit into your “soulmate” qualities. We are often caught up with the romantic vibe, that we fail to see clearly if the relationship has a future. Ask each other if you want to get married in the future, if they are someone who would like to have kids, are they big spenders or big savers, are they close to their family, do they want to settle in that place or move out eventually, etc. These are make-it-or-break-it questions. You need to know if your partner is on the same page as you, because as much as they seem like your soulmates, these type of aspects might define whether they are or if they aren’t.